Love in the Darkness: A shy girl alpha male romance novel Page 9

  I heard the doctor chuckle as he fussed around wiping the edges of my eyes. “I remember one patient complaining that he wouldn’t be able to go to raves for a few months. I somehow don’t think that will be a problem for you.”

  I heard Liam chuckle nervously next to me, and forced a smile. It was hard to breathe. My terror was paralyzing the wall of my chest, creeping around my back. My entire torso was being compressed from nerves.

  “Take a few deep breaths, Kayla,” the doctor said gently. “I’d like you to open your eyes halfway, looking down, then slowly look side to side a bit.”

  For the first time in a week, I opened my eyes, looking down at my knees, the doctor’s knees, and as I looked to the right, Liam’s knee and his hand holding mine. He was very tan. His hand looked so big and strong, grasping my tiny pale fingers.

  “How does that feel?” the doctor asked.

  “Weird, but fine,” I said automatically.

  “It looks like the surgery went perfectly,” he said. “Everything looks exactly how it should. Very slowly, can you look up as high as you can?”

  I did, wincing slightly at the ceiling light.

  “And down again.” The doctor held up some sort of gadget toward my eyes. “Look left.” I did, and he made a little murmured noise of approval. “And to the right.”

  I looked to my right side and gasped. My left hand flew to my mouth as I murmured, “Oh my God. Liam, you’re… hi…” I turned in my chair a little more, ignoring the doctor completely. “You’re gorgeous,” I breathed. I blinked hard, feeling my eyes tear up slightly. The pure joy of seeing him made my heart gallop.

  Liam seemed absolutely frozen in place. His strong jawline clenched. Then he slowly turned his shoulder toward me more, so I could get a better look at the scar across his right eye and cheek. It was hard to focus very well, but it was as if the scar was supposed to be there. It turned him from a model to an action star, and made him sexy as hell.

  I smiled, squeezing his hand. “Tough guy,” I grinned. “I like it.”

  He was smiling, but also had this strange aura of complete shock that I found odd. Maybe it was just a surprise of seeing my eyes. They were light blue, and I had a bit of a darker coloring overall, despite my paleness. Maybe he assumed I had brown eyes.

  Liam’s eyes were magical. Brownish hazel, deep and expressive. I couldn’t wait until I could focus a little better to study them further.

  “I’ll need you to face front for a moment, please,” the doctor said quickly.

  I got back into position, as he examined my eyes thoroughly. There was some poking and prodding that made me flinch several times as he did some basic tests, and each time I felt Liam squeeze my hand gently.

  When the doctor had to open my eyes wider to check the muscles, Liam rolled closer, switching so that he held my hand with his right, using his left to stroke my back. When I flinched from the light again, he whispered, “You’re doing great, baby. Just breathe.”

  It took longer than I expected, but I appreciated how complete the exam was.

  “All done. I would say this was a complete success,” the doctor said, and I felt Liam breathe a sigh of relief as I did.

  He gave me some eye drops, and complete care instructions, including paperwork to review tomorrow, and a bunch of exercises.

  “The most important thing is to not push yourself,” he said. “Think of it like a sprained foot. If you walk on it, you’re going to make it worse, and it will take longer to heal. So stick with baby steps. Tomorrow you might use the computer for ten minutes. The next day, twenty. Build up nice and slow, and listen to your eyes. If they feel tired or stressed, close them. That means you’re done for the day.”

  I nodded. “Thank you so much.”

  “Best of luck,” he said, leaving the room.

  Turning to Liam, he was starting to get up. “Wait,” I said softly, reaching out to cup his face in my hands. “Please, let me look at you.”

  His eyes were so tense with worry that it nearly broke my heart. My thumbs skimmed along his cheekbones, then I trailed the backs of my fingers along his scruff of beard.

  He was gorgeous. Freakishly, nearly unearthly beautiful.

  “It’s interesting,” I said slowly, smiling. “If we look at your face as a work of art, which it is, the scar adds balance. Honestly, you’d be too pretty without it.”

  He rolled his eyes, which was adorable to finally see.

  “Liam, if you’ve ever wondered why women stare at you, it’s because they’re nervous.”

  “I know, that’s what–”

  “No, they’re nervous because you’re too stunning for words. They’re nervous because women don’t know how to speak to men as good looking as you.”

  He shook his head uncomfortably. “Can we go?” He was looking at me very strangely.

  I grinned. “Liam, you’re a hottie. I had no idea.”

  He looked a bit squeamish, then stood up, causing my hands to drop. I slung my purse over my shoulder and he took my hand, guiding me. As we began to leave the building, he stopped by the door of the lobby. “Sunglasses.”

  “Oh right, thanks.” Before I put them on, I looked up at him. He was trying not to look into my eyes. “Hey.” He turned to face me without meeting my gaze. “What’s wrong?” I asked. In my delight at finally seeing him, I’d actually forgotten that he was seeing my whole face for the first time.

  “Please, look at me. I’m sorry if my eyes weren’t what you were expecting, but there’s nothing–”

  His shaking hand slid into the back of my hair, holding me close as his eyes locked with mine. “Kayla, I’ve never seen anything in this world as beautiful as you, and I can’t… My mind is actually short-circuiting right now. Please, just let me get you home. I’m so relieved that you’re okay. But right now I need to get you safely into your apartment and focus on nothing but taking care of you.”

  “Okay.”

  He closed his eyes for a second, taking a long slow breath before looking at me with a polite, strained smile. “Now, how well can you see? Do you want me to keep an arm around you?”

  I nodded. “If you don’t mind. Everything is really bright, and still a bit fuzzy. Like things are shifting around.”

  He took my hand, wrapping an arm around me as he led us out. “I’ll assume you can’t see, and guide you, okay?”

  “Thank you.”

  After a quick cab ride home, Liam unlocked my door and led me straight to the couch before dashing to the blinds and closing them completely.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  Liam looked around, almost seeming skittish. “Do you need anything? Tea, or a snack?”

  “Water, please.”

  He brought me a glass, setting it in front of me on the coffee table as he sat on the far end of the couch, checking his phone.

  “Gwen says that she can walk well enough to come by tomorrow. She wants to go over the eye exercises with you, and make sure that you have everything in place so that you can ease your way back into the world, and your work.”

  His smile was forced. “That’s good news, right?”

  “Yeah. It will be good for her to go over all of the doctor’s instructions, just in case.” It didn’t sound like Liam would be coming back. It felt like freezing cold poison was seeping through me. He didn’t want me. He didn’t like me. There was something wrong, and seeing my face changed everything.

  I did my best to return his smile. “It’s nice to see you,” I said gently. “It’s like the volume of your personality has been turned up, since I can see your expressions.”

  Finally, he released a real chuckle. “That’s a very interesting way of saying it.” Liam turned to me a bit more. “Do you write, Kayla?”

  “Only journaling, really.”

  “Maybe you should. You have a unique way with words.”

  “Thank you.” It was hard not to stare directly at him, but I needed an excuse. “Oh,” I finally said, “May I look at your tat
toos now?”

  He hesitated for a second before leaning slightly toward me and rolling up his sleeves, turning one arm, then the other to me. “I sketched out the art roughly, then my artist drew it up properly.”

  “Wow. It’s really amazing. The linework is exquisite.”

  “Yeah, Rachel does incredible work.”

  I wanted to reach out and run my fingers down his arm like I would have yesterday, but I was nervous.

  Trying desperately to find something else to say, I blurted, “I really appreciate you coming with me today. And staying with me this week.” I tried to smile at him. “I might have fallen apart without you.”

  This time his chuckle was real. “I think you’re a tougher cookie than you realize, Kayla. I’m so proud of you for holding it together so well.”

  He was proud of me. He thought I was beautiful. So why was he acting like I had the plague?

  “There is a whole sandwich left over from yesterday in your fridge,” Liam said, looking around the room as if searching for something. “And I saw that you have some frozen things, now that you could use the oven again.”

  “Actually, I haven’t had pizza in over a week. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

  “Thanks, but I have to go,” he said, jumping up. He patted my shoulder on the way by. “I have to check on Gwen, and I need to catch up on some work. Take good care of yourself.”

  “Thank you, but–”

  The door clicked. He was already gone.

  I thought I was in the dark before, but now I was completely lost.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  * Liam *

  I considered looking up the highest known mountains in our solar system. I wanted to visualize a lump of shit as big as I was.

  Looking into Kayla’s eyes for the first time… I was hit in the center of the chest with a sledgehammer wielded by a giant. I actually saw flashes of neon green threaded through my vision.

  Those eyes.

  There weren’t words worthy enough to describe them. Finally seeing her whole face – those delicate cheekbones, the expressive curve of her brows, those full, sensual lips.

  Those eyes.

  Beautiful and saucy and fascinating. The most crucial, immediate issue was how sweetly sexy they were.

  I had been studying her reaction, ready to gauge the most subtle cringe when she first saw me, but it wasn’t there. She didn’t flinch. At all. She seemed… delighted?

  I thought I’d been well prepared for any sort of reaction, but not that. I was expecting her to paste on a smile and pretend that she wasn’t taken aback. Yet she really wasn’t.

  She thought I was attractive. It was genuine.

  My own reaction was the most feral, animalistic urge I’d ever had. I needed to take her right there in the office. Or in the lobby. I needed to make her mine, immediately.

  I needed her. Fiercely.

  I’d never had such a savage emotion in my life. I’d thought I’d felt lust before, but maybe not. This was something far beyond anything I could possibly have imagined.

  I needed to throw her down and capture her, thrusting inside her until she screamed my name. Then until she couldn’t scream anymore.

  Maybe it was like a dog seeing a rabbit run by for the first time. Something worth chasing. An instinctive reaction. And so much more.

  I was also completely in love with her. It was somehow separate from my physical reaction, and much more important than the lust.

  It had been obvious that I was falling for her hard, but I thought for her sake that I’d be able to control it. I would see her disappointment, and that would be the spray bottle of logic blasting the naughty cat of my desire for being up on the furniture.

  However, these feelings could not be trained or controlled in any way.

  That scared the royal hell out of me.

  I was a big guy, but still, people at the gym often laughed about how my strength was much higher than it should be for my size. Just weird, I guess.

  How could I control myself around her? How could I be gentle, tender, everything that Kayla deserved, if I had even one flash of this animal inside me that needed to throw her down?

  I could never allow myself to be alone with her again if I couldn’t trust myself. Like an addict who gives up booze, I couldn’t let myself have a single drop.

  It was agony to try to chat with her politely as I took her home and got her settled. It would have been lovely to have dinner with her and become accustomed to those flashing, bright blue eyes. But I’d only survive it if I fucked the daylights out of her first, and that could never happen.

  If I ever let that cat out of the bag, how much would be enough to tame this primitive beast reaction? Once a day? Five times a day?

  I couldn’t take over her life. That couldn’t be what she really wanted. She had her school, then a career ahead of her. She had dreams and plans that didn’t involve spending half of her time being worshiped by a guy like me.

  I would give anything to adore her. Her curves, her soft skin, how sensitive she was to touch… I would take every single advantage of what I’d learned about her already to make her squirm, squeal, and lose herself completely.

  Going straight to the gym, I broke every personal best I’d ever taken notice of. Then I ran on the treadmill until I was dripping sweat, heaving for air. I drove myself until I realized I was on the verge of becoming unsteady.

  An ice-cold shower shocked my system so hard it had to have shaken the worst of it out. I went home trying to hope that I’d be able to sleep without seeing those eyes.

  Oh fuck, those eyes.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  * Kayla *

  One of the most blissful experiences of my life was having a shower and really scrubbing my hair. Washing my entire face at once and gently rinsing my eyes was extremely refreshing.

  Yet I heard Liam’s voice in my head, and was incredibly careful as I got in and out. I held the wall and planted my feet carefully. So far my balance had been fine since I had regained my sight, but I wasn’t about to take any chances.

  Although a tiny part of me was relieved that I was independent again, I missed him. I missed him far more than I would have ever imagined.

  It was weird that I had become so accustomed to him in such a short amount of time. Something about his energy was so warm and soothing. I craved him more than tea, and that was saying something.

  The apartment felt empty without his rumbling chuckle. The couch felt too big without him taking up more than half of it. Everything was boring now, as if a bit of the color and life had been turned down.

  I didn’t know which was worse – missing him, or wondering what the hell went wrong.

  After I had dried off, tied my hair up, got dressed, and made a cup of tea, I heard a tap at the door. Flinging it open, I tried hard not to be disappointed when I saw that it was Gwen.

  “Look at you, little miss thing with her bandages off,” Gwen laughed. Then she took a good look at me head on. “Damn. Perfectly straight eyeballs. Well done.”

  “And look at you, walking around again. How are you doing?”

  She shrugged. “I’m all right, just a bit slow.” I pointed to the kitchen table so she could put her bags down, and I noticed her slight limp before she sat down.

  “We have a lot to do, so let’s start with the basics.”

  I did appreciate her no-nonsense attitude. Hopefully it would snap me out of my misery. She looked around the room to see the blinds were drawn, and the lamps were fairly dim.

  “How’s the light sensitivity so far?”

  “I’m okay,” I said. “I’m keeping everything dim, but I was fine with the regular washroom light for the length of a shower.”

  “Excellent,” she said. “You’re allowed to use the computer today, so we’ll see how you do with that.” She took one look at my expression and fixed me with a comical glare. “You went online last night, didn’t you?”

  I certainly couldn’t tell he
r that I needed to check Liam’s social media profiles, and how disappointed I was that he barely posted anything.

  “I checked my email with the screen turned to dim, and the amber filter. I set a timer for five minutes.” I sat beside her at the table, trying to be a model patient.

  “Good,” Gwen said. “We’ll make you up a chart and a system so that you can very gently ease your way back into it. But you know that you’ll have to take it slowly for several weeks at least.”

  “I know. I’ll behave.” I giggled for a second. “I wouldn’t want anybody to throw a baseball at me.”

  Gwen smirked. “I’m sorry that I had to send you Liam, but he’s a good guy, isn’t he?”

  “He really is.”

  “And I take it that you two got along well?”

  “Absolutely. But I hope that you were okay,” I said. “Not being able to walk much must have been annoying as well.”

  Gwen’s eyes sparkled, and she bit her bottom lip saucily. “It gave me a great excuse to have my cute new neighbor check in on me.”

  I let my mouth fall open in fake surprise. “You hussy.”

  She shrugged. “Hey, I have a date Saturday night. Don’t judge me.”

  I laughed loudly, and it was lovely to be able to see her eyes as I teased her. “I would never dare. I’ve heard that women have to get men any way they can, these days.”

  Gwen pursed her lips, staring at me thoughtfully. “I’m sure it didn’t hurt that your stand-in nurse happened to be drop dead gorgeous.” Then she snapped her fingers. “Oh shit, that’s right. You didn’t see him until yesterday.” She stared into my eyes carefully. “What did you think when you saw Liam for the first time?”

  I felt myself blushing fiercely and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

  “Yeah,” Gwen shrugged. “I would never tell him to his face, but my brother happens to be hot.”