Love in the Darkness: A shy girl alpha male romance novel Page 8

  “Kayla?” he breathed against my ear. A shudder of arousal twitched through me, and there was no way on earth he didn’t feel it. “You’re not sleeping, are you?”

  “No.”

  His hand slid down my hip a little as if he were subtly trying to push me away from the pressure that was clearly rising between us. Knowing that I was turning him on sent another wave of raw lust through me. I was torn, not knowing what to do.

  “You know we shouldn’t,” he murmured. His mouth hovering at my ear, brushing his bottom lip against the outer shell, sent a different message. It felt like his hands were frozen, afraid to move as he realized how he was holding me.

  “I”m sorry,” I started to say, instinctively rolling to face him. His hand was so tense that as I rolled, it stayed in the same spot, skimming across my hip bone and landing at the gusset of my panties. I gasped, immediately needing him to touch me more than I needed air.

  I felt him completely freeze. “You know that was an accident, right?” he murmured. I nodded, my forehead almost to his. Then I felt a deep shudder run through him as his fingers twitched slightly.

  “Christ, you’re drenched,” he growled softly, feeling the wet, silky fabric between my legs. “Tell me to stop, Kayla,” he breathed.

  “No.”

  His fingers brushed slowly along my panties, pressing the material against my pussy lips, spreading me open.

  “Kayla, tell me to stop.”

  “I can’t. I need…” I had no idea what I was even saying. My heart was rattling in my chest.

  Liam’s voice was husky. “Are you saying that there’s something you need, and you need your caregiver to take care of you?”

  “Yes,” I breathed, not even ashamed that it sounded like begging.

  His hand slid away, and I could have cried, but he hitched up my top more, before plunging his fingers into my panties.

  “Mmm, yes…” I moaned, my hips instantly rocking me into his hand.

  His thick fingertip circled my entrance. “Is all this honey for me?” he murmured, swirling through my juices, against my most sensitive skin.

  “I can’t help it.”

  “You know how wrong this is, baby.”

  Hearing him call me that sent another rough shiver through me, as I reached out to wrap my hands around his shoulders. “If we both want something, how can it be wrong?”

  His teeth met the edge of my neck as his finger slid inside me. My choked gasp made his arousal lurch between us.

  “Let’s be very clear,” he whispered, sounding strained. “I’m going to care for you, then we’ll sleep. Don’t touch me. Okay?”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “That’s the rule. Caring for you. This is just…” I heard him chuckle softly. “Therapeutic massage? Right?”

  His finger slid deeper before thrusting slowly all the way in and out of my soaking tunnel. “Yes,” I gasped. “Anything you say.”

  His arm tensed for a second, and I knew that he enjoyed that I would have easily given myself to him completely.

  The feeling of him inside me was wild. It was so gentle, so intimate. He began trailing his fingertips all over every curve of my delicate skin. Then he placed his middle finger on my clit, massaging gently.

  I wanted to tell him that he was the first man to ever touch me like this. The first man I’d ever trusted completely with my entire body. The first man I’d ever desired. Instead, I gasped, choking on his name. “Liam… oh my god… Liam… ”

  “Knowing you’re this wet for me is driving me insane, Kayla.”

  “I can’t help it. You… ah! You make me feel…”

  His finger began plunging deep again, his thumb settling against my clit. I tossed my top leg over his hip, opening more, and also brushing both of us against his shorts.

  My breasts were pressed firmly to his chest, his bottom hand cupping my ass, pulling me against him.

  Then his mouth kissed along the side of my neck. “If you were mine, Kayla, I’d eat you alive,” he growled. I felt a change in him, as if he were at the very edge of his control. “I swear to god, I’d fuck you day and night. I’d never let you go.”

  “Yes,” I gasped, feeling waves of heat flowing through me as every single muscle began to tense. I loved how controlling he was. His fingers tightened, gripping me more firmly.

  “Would you want that, baby? Would you want a man who was so crazy for you? Would you want to be his little sex toy, and ease his suffering over and over?”

  “Oh,” I choked. “Yes… yes. Please… ”

  “I don’t think I could be gentle if you were naked for me.” His rasp was barely a breath. “I might bite you. Grab you. Maul this curvy little body until you scream for me.”

  “Yes,” I moaned. “I’d want you to.”

  He froze, only his fingers moving inside me, his thumb swirling against my swollen clit. It felt like he stopped breathing.

  “You’d want that? You’d want a man to be rough with you?”

  “Only you,” I gasped, so close to the edge I was trembling. Liquid fire was surging through me. “You’re the only one.”

  “Come for me, Kayla.”

  It was a command that I couldn’t have disobeyed even if I wanted to. At the precise second every cell in my body pulled in before exploding, his lips met mine. His mouth was soft, tender, even as I screamed, shaking from the climax of a lifetime. His sweetness balanced his strength so perfectly.

  “Liam,” I choked, as he shook every drop of pleasure from me. “Oh god… Liam .”

  “Kayla,” he breathed, still kissing me, rocking me. When I finally stopped twitching, his hand pulled away, and I whimpered, never wanting him to stop.

  He kissed me more deeply as I moaned softly into his sensual, full lips. Then I felt his smile as he pulled away, sucking his fingers as he muttered, “I knew you’d be delicious.”

  I giggled, snuggling against him. He brought both of his hands to my ass, holding me still so that I couldn’t grind against him.

  “It’s been a long, long time since I’ve been with a girl,” he whispered. “But I’ve never been with anyone as beautiful, sensual, and fucking hot as you.”

  I could feel myself blushing in his arms as I tucked my chin into his shoulder. “I’ve never…” I trailed off, not knowing how to finish that thought. Pulling one hand away from the back of his neck, I skimmed it down his thick, wide chest.

  He was so damn masculine. Everything about him was larger than life. Overwhelming. That was exactly what I needed right now. My hand slid down his stomach, but he caught my wrist.

  “I don’t know where you think you’re going, but it’s back to sleep with you.”

  “But–”

  “No.”

  I felt my bottom lip stick out. “Please?”

  Liam took a long, slow breath in, then out. “Kayla, I beg you. If you feel anything for me at all, you’ll turn your back to me and just sleep until morning.”

  Leaning forward, I caught his lips again, and the sound of his soft groan undid me completely. By not letting himself go, he was proving that he was the one. I trusted him even more.

  My lips parted as his tongue gently drifted into my mouth, my hand sliding back up to grip his thick hair. My hips shifted, my top leg flexing to press my wet panties against his shorts.

  His shaft was like steel, and so big it was a bit frightening. His hands tightened on my ass, pulling me against him hard. Rocking his length all along my barely covered pussy, once, twice, he then pushed me away with a deep shudder.

  Liam was nearly panting with effort as he took my hands, turning me away so that we were spooning again. He held my hands across my stomach. The feeling of his arousal pressed against my ass made me wriggle back against him, and he groaned again.

  “Please, Kayla. Don’t squirm. Please help me be a good guy here.”

  Shifting to put some space between us, I curled into this arms. “I’m sorry.”

  “Mmm, I know, bab
y,” he murmured against the back of my neck. “But a man can only take so much temptation.”

  “I just want–”

  “Oh, I know what you want,” he chuckled. “But it would be buckets and buckets of wrong. Truckloads of wrong.”

  “That’s a lot of wrong,” I laughed.

  His lips grazed my neck, as I shuddered again, releasing a long, low sigh.

  “This never happened, Kayla. It was all just a dream. Let’s sleep now.”

  From the sound of his breathing, and the pressure of his arms around me, it took him a while to nod off. When I finally drifted away, floating in the constant darkness, I dreamed that I heard him murmur, “I could love you so easily, little one. I could be so good for you, if I weren’t so bad for you.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  * Liam *

  Waking up with Kayla in my arms filled me with such peace. This magical girl was everything I’d ever wanted. Even though I knew this was the day her desire for me would be turning off like flipping a switch. I tried to be grateful for what time we had left.

  The guilt over what we’d done in the night came back to me in a wave. I knew it was wrong. I could also feel how much it had relaxed her. Some people had flings all the time. For us to have a little snuggle that was over the line wasn’t the worst thing ever, I hoped.

  She had begged for much more, and I was actually rather impressed that I was able to control myself. Barely. It may have been one of the hardest things I’d ever done.

  Something else was incredibly hard. I needed to escape our sleepy snuggling before she got ideas again. Or even worse, if I did.

  Wrapping my arms around her waist, I gently rolled her over top of me so that she was facing the back of the couch. I needed to escape to take a shower, and take care of certain male business that was becoming quite painful.

  The hot water drained my tension, and my hand drained my more urgent tension. I pictured Kayla’s open lips, gasping as she came. Her curvy hips wriggling, her little fingers nearly tearing out my hair.

  I came harder than I could ever remember, shooting my pent up release straight down the drain as I ground my lips together hard. Somehow I managed not to choke out her name under the falling water.

  Once I was dressed and busy with making coffee for me and tea for her, I felt clearer. Stable. I could get through this day, and be there for her. I couldn’t imagine how stressed out she must be, and she would need someone to lean on.

  “Hi.”

  I spun to see Kayla with her fingertips on either side of the kitchen doorway. “Good morning,” I said brightly. “Tea is ready, and I was going to make toast.”

  Her smile fell. “I don’t think I can eat today.”

  Taking her tea in one hand and her elbow in the other, I guided her to the dining table. “And yet, you’re going to eat two pieces of toast, and have a glass of orange juice as well as your tea.”

  After she sat down, she turned slightly, sticking out her bottom lip like a bratty child. “I don’t wanna.”

  Then we both laughed together as I took her hand and guided it to her teacup. “We can’t have dizzy spells at the doctor’s, so you’re going to need blood sugar. I’m not being a jerk here, it’s science. Right?”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m just…”

  My hand skimmed over the top of her head, stroking her hair. I couldn’t help it, even though I managed to not pull her into my arms. “You’re nervous as hell. I get that. I’m going to be right there with you.”

  I turned to go back to the kitchen, but her arm shot out, grabbing wildly until she gripped my hand. “Liam, will you come into the office with me? When he takes the bandages off? I know some people are squeamish about eye stuff, but–”

  “I’ll be there,” I said quickly. “I’ll be holding this hand. I won’t leave you.”

  Her shoulders rose and fell with a shudder of relief. “Thank you.” As she released my hand, it struck me all over again how I’d have to let her go later today. I was grateful that she couldn’t see my face fall as I went to make us breakfast.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  * Kayla *

  When Gwen had taken me home from my surgery, she had a practiced manner of holding my arm under the elbow, keeping our hips in line so that her walking guided me smoothly.

  I preferred Liam’s manner of holding my right hand against his chest while his left arm curled around my back, holding my hip. He walked me as if we were dancing. He was steady and patient. It felt like he was watching several steps ahead, to warn me of any upcoming obstacles.

  Even though I was terrified, I knew that knowing the truth would be best. No matter how the surgery turned out, no matter how I was healing, it would be better if I knew so that I could move on with my life and adapt accordingly.

  I hadn’t had any trouble with the healing, other than a dull ache and a bit of slight itching from the bandages. I tried to believe that was a good sign.

  Liam walked me into the medical building, taking the elevator up and escorting me to the ophthalmologist’s reception area.

  “Kayla Mowat, here to see Doctor Murphy,” Liam said.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” a high pitched, nasally voice responded. “We called Kayla ten minutes ago. Doctor Murphy has the flu and won’t be in today.”

  Liam’s hand slid up to begin gently stroking between my shoulder blades. “Ten minutes ago we were already in a cab,” he said smoothly, but I could hear anger creeping into his voice. “Who is covering for him today?”

  “Well, nobody, really. We’re super busy you see and–”

  “Hold on, I’ll be back in a second,” he told her. Liam guided me to a chair and patted my shoulder. “I’ll sort this out, little one. Stay still.”

  “Okay. Thank you,” I whispered. Swirling dread washed through me. Waiting even longer? I couldn’t. The thought made me queasy. It felt like there were at least two or three strangers in the waiting room. Not knowing was unnerving, since I was already so terrified.

  I could hear Liam muttering to the receptionist. His deep voice sounded darker than usual. The receptionist tried to suggest I come back in a few days, but he was obviously furious at the way she was so flippant. Liam was demanding to see whoever was the absolute head of this practice.

  Then Liam’s voice was close to me. “I’m right here, Kayla. We’re going to go see a different doctor, okay? Doctor Williams is the head of this facility. He’s one of the top-rated ophthalmologists in Ontario. So he’s probably qualified.”

  I could hear him smiling, and attempted a giggle. He helped me up gently, whispering in my ear, “I know you’re scared. I’m going to be right here with you.”

  Liam led me to a treatment room, sitting me in a chair that felt like it was in the center of the space. He pulled another chair over, sitting close as he held my right hand. His thumb stroked along my skin, making me realize that he was nervous as well.

  “You don’t have anything to worry about,” I said. “I can’t wait to see what you look like. At this point, it’s funny… I don’t have a clear picture of you in my mind, so any picture at all is going to be amazing.”

  “Don’t you worry about me, Kayla. Let’s focus on you. How are you feeling?”

  I squeezed his hand. “Terrified. My guts are flipping in circles. But it’s probably better to know what the heck is going on, right?”

  “Exactly.”

  Someone came into the room, and I heard a shuffle of papers as the door clicked shut. “Hello, Kayla. I’m Doctor Williams.”

  “Hi – thank you so much for seeing me today.”

  I heard a pause. It sounded like Liam had bullied our way in here, and I’m sure he didn’t want to comment on that in front of me. It was actually hard not to giggle nervously again.

  “So, how do you think your healing is going so far?”

  “There hasn’t been any pain, except for a sort of dull ache the first few days. Mostly it’s just been incredibly annoying not being able to see.”<
br />
  I was relieved when he chuckled, and I felt his hand pat my shoulder. “I can well imagine,” he said. “I’m sure that Dr. Murphy had warned you that you will probably continue to be a bit light-sensitive for a while. Maybe even a few months.”

  “Precisely how light-sensitive?” Liam asked. “Will it be safe to have her outside without a blindfold?”

  “She’ll have to feel it out on her own,” the doctor said. “I would suggest sunglasses outdoors at all times for a few months. If you can go out in the early morning or late afternoon, that would be better than mid-day. Avoid places like concerts with flashing lights and strobe effects. You’ll get a sense of what you can handle and what you are sensitive to.”

  It felt like he was walking around a little, then he sat in a rolling chair, coming up in front of me. “Kayla, I’m in front of you now. I’ve dimmed the lights as much as possible, but it might be a little painful, or feel strained for a few minutes. It’s going to be important for you to rest your eyes as much as possible for the next few weeks. Any time you are lying still with your eyes closed, it’s healing time.”

  “Okay.”

  “Keep your eyes closed while I take the bandages off, please.”

  “Okay.”

  My left hand was clenched on the arm of the chair. I didn’t need to be able to see to know that my knuckles must have been pure white. Liam held my other hand, stroking my skin steadily.

  “I know you’re nervous,” the doctor said as he removed the tape and the bandages from my face. “These things almost always turn out perfectly. It’s just a matter of time for the rest of the healing process.”

  The last layer was removed, and I could see a few shadowy flickers of light behind my closed eyelids.

  “Keep your eyes closed, I’m going to clean your eye area first. This might be a little cool,” he said. He ran what felt like a wet makeup remover pad around the entire area.

  “Everything looks like it’s healing fine. You’ll be able to go about most of your daily activities. But you’ll have to remember to think things through. Your computer screen will need to be dim, with perhaps an amber light filter instead of the usual blue light. And no more than an hour a day for the first few weeks.”