MANifesting: Older Man, Younger Woman Short Romance Read online

  We chatted about her work for another five minutes before hanging up. Pulling the blanket from the end of the couch over my lap, I stared into my candle for a while.

  Was I a fool for thinking that my very first relationship would work out? Was I too optimistic? Did I rely on my manifesting and journaling too much, believing in the power of my mind instead of logic and actions?

  Opening my notebook, I reread some of the first things I wrote about having a boyfriend.

  Don’t waste time on a man who has zero chance of being a good husband.

  Only stay with a man who treats me wonderfully.

  Communication is imperative. He must be open.

  By breaking the last two, he proved that he might not be good for me in the long run. He must know that not speaking with me was hurting my feelings. No matter how busy he was, he could spare one minute to return a text.

  I loved Kellan. I felt that he loved me. But I wasn’t going to change my personality or values for him. If he didn’t like me the way I was, I’d have to move on. If he didn’t contact me in the next twenty-four hours, I was going to let him go.

  Once the decision was made, I almost felt a little lighter, but then the weight of worrying if he was going to call settled over me.

  My eyes became blurry with tears, as I set the notebook down and grabbed a tissue. Our connection had felt so real. Solid. Knowing that I must have been terribly wrong made me feel like a complete loser for the first time since I’d turned nineteen and taken charge over my life.

  My back and shoulders stiffened from the thought of losing him. His touch was something I’d never forget. But if our spark wasn’t enough to keep our fire burning, I’d have to stomp out the embers and move on, somehow.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  * Kellan *

  Jackie kicked me out after I accidentally doubled the vodka order and smashed three wine glasses while trying to reorganize the bar.

  “You’re brooding about something. You’re useless when you’re moody. Just go home. I’ll be fine on my own until Mike gets here at six.”

  “Okay, thanks,” I mumbled, grabbing my shoulder bag and slumping to my car. I couldn’t explain that I had received a text that felt like a punch straight to my heart an hour ago.

  Allie: I thought things were going well between us, but you’re not returning my messages. I’ll stop now.

  There was no way to respond to something that made my blood run cold. I wanted her so badly, but it wouldn’t be fair to continue a relationship where we wanted such different things. My guts churned with stress-induced nausea.

  I should have gone home, but somehow I ended up near the university entrance, slowly driving past the bookstore on the main road, wondering if that was where she worked.

  Allie walked out the door with a tall, thin young man, then she locked the door behind them.

  Pulling over, I watched in the rearview mirror as they stood on the sidewalk laughing about something together. My eyes snapped shut. She couldn’t have moved on already. I was positive she wasn’t that kind of girl.

  She’s already your girl, the back of my mind absolutely screamed at me.

  Without looking back, I drove away as quickly as I could. I had to do something immediately so that I didn’t lose it.

  Realizing that Clark Street was only a few blocks away, I went there to pick up our coffee bean order. It didn’t distract me for very long, and once I loaded the bags into my backseat, I looked around for something else to do or somewhere to go.

  Maybe I could go to Dale’s and invite myself for dinner. Perhaps I should go to the gym and work out until I couldn’t see straight. Or maybe I should just call Allie and have a serious conversation.

  My bones felt like rocks as I dragged myself around the car and got in again. I wondered if others could see the black cloud over my head. This was going to be the most terrible thing I’d ever had to do. Allie was going to cry, and I’d have to just sit there and hurt her. Breakups were always terrible, but her very first one was going to be rough.

  Since I clearly wasn’t an instant husband, the one she was looking for, I had to do the right thing, right now.

  My phone beeped from my pocket. Allie? No, Dale’s number. Damn.

  “Hey, bro – just checking if there are any extra shifts for me this weekend?” he asked.

  “Are you happy with Cheryl?” I asked abruptly.

  He coughed slightly. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m sorry to be blunt, but I need to know. You had all of these hopes and dreams. You wanted to go to medical school. You talked about traveling. Then you met Cheryl, and just did everything she said.”

  His sharp laugh surprised me. “Kellan, it wasn’t like that at all. I’ve always wanted to get married as soon as possible. I just didn’t have a lot of experience with women, and hadn’t found anyone I really got along with. Cheryl is my balance. My anchor.”

  “But you work so hard, and she basically just spends your money.”

  Dale laughed again. “She spends a lot less than I give her to decorate and run things. She’s actually a financial wizard, and has set us up with a ton of excellent investments. I want her to be free to run the house and take care of our kids. That’s something we both talked about at the very start. And the reason I’m working like crazy right now is so that I can slow down for a few months when our first baby arrives so that I can help her.”

  “Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say.

  “Kellan, what’s wrong? Did you think that Cheryl was wrecking my life? Are you nuts? I honestly never thought I’d be this happy.”

  “That’s good.”

  He paused. “Wait – are you having second thoughts about Allie? You two looked so close.”

  “Yeah. I guess. But I get the impression that she wants to get married really fast, and that’s not what I want.”

  “Then just date,” he said. “Talk to her about it. Everyone’s timeline is different. Sit her down and figure it out. Don’t go by impressions. Listen to her.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Say that again. It’s a rare occasion.”

  I finally laughed with him. “Thanks, Dale. You can take my Saturday night shift at the lounge, okay?”

  “You’re the best.”

  The second I hung up, I called Allie, but she didn’t answer.

  She could have been walking home and missed the call. Or maybe she was on the bus. Or maybe she realized that I’d been a complete asshole for ghosting her, and blocked me.

  In a flash, I decided to drive to her place and wait for her. There was a chance that if I could talk to her, we could work things out.

  As I was about to open my car door, I looked across the street to see Allie coming out of a jewelry store. She had the sweetest smile on her face, her fingers fluttering over a silver necklace around her throat.

  “Oh, hi,” she said, looking up at me in surprise as I rushed over.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  She smiled politely, but it didn’t touch her eyes as much as I would have hoped. Her thumb hooked into the silver chain of leaves around her neck, holding it up. “The clasp broke, and I couldn’t wear my favorite necklace for a few months. It was driving me crazy.”

  Glancing up at the sign, it was the company from the brochure that had been in her pocket. “How did you find this place?” I asked.

  “Cheryl’s cousin owns it. We were talking about jewelry.” Allie paused, shooting me a look as she rolled her eyes. “Well, she was talking about jewelry and showing off that huge ring I had to pretend to like. You know how it is. But she promised that this place was great at repairs.”

  I pulled her under the awning of the closed bakery next door so that we could pause for a moment. “Yeah, I saw you two into the girl talk . I thought you were admiring her ring?”

  Allie’s nose crinkled. “I was just being polite. It was too big and a bit tacky, I thought. But to each their own, you know?”
<
br />   “Doesn’t every girl want a big diamond ring?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t even like diamonds, actually. I’ve always thought they looked a bit cold. Someday, way down the road, if I were looking for rings, I might buck tradition and just have a tiny sapphire. ”

  Her eyes were so soft and open as she said, ‘way down the road’. Something unlocked deep within me. She clearly wasn’t looking for anything too fast. My stupid paranoia was completely unfounded.

  I was an idiot. Through and through.

  I’d let my family issues poison my mind and make me suspicious of something that wasn’t even a problem.

  Relief coursed through my veins like a dam bursting. My arms reached out for her without thought, pulling us together as I kissed her gently. “I’m sorry I was such an ass,” I murmured against her lips. “You’re the one, Allie. I know you are. I swear I’ll never go more than a day without talking to you again. I just need us to take our time before we end up at a jewelry store for anything permanent. Okay?”

  She pushed me back a few inches to look up into my eyes in shock. “Oh my God, you didn’t think… Kellan, I just want to be your girlfriend and see what happens. Anything else…” she waved her hand toward the jewelry store dismissively, “would be years away.”

  I needed to beg her forgiveness on a larger scale. Taking her by the hand, I pulled her back into the store. “Let me get you a little something to apologize for being an ass,” I said. “Like a bracelet, maybe.”

  We quickly went through the selection of delicate silver bracelets, finding one that almost matched the necklace she just had repaired – a simple silver chain with some leaf and star charms.

  Watching her wearing a token of my affection did something strange to me. A soft, warm pressure spread across my chest as she smiled. My hand wrapped around her waist, needing to stay connected with her.

  As we walked out of the store, she spun the bracelet around her wrist. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.” Allie took a breath and looked up at me. “Kellan, I accept your apology, but when things come up in the future, call me first.”

  Pulling her around the corner, I pressed my back to the wall, holding her in my arms. “Yes. I’m so sorry, gorgeous. I accidentally saw your journal lines about manifesting a man, and husband potential. Then the jewelry store brochure. I guess I freaked out.”

  She reached up to place her palm along my cheek in a feather-soft tap. “We need to talk to each other before freaking out if we’re going to make this work.”

  “Absolutely.”

  Allie stretched up to meet my lips, kissing me for a moment before pulling away again. “I know that I’m sometimes a little anxious, but that’s not your problem. It’s my issue to deal with. So if you need to talk to me, please always come to me first. Okay?”

  “You got it.”

  Her body tucked against mine so perfectly as I held her close while people passed by on the sidewalk. “Hey, maybe someday, when we’ve been together a few months, we could do one of those planning projects together,” I suggested. “What kind of house we want to live in someday, what kind of wedding we want to have, all of those details.”

  She looked up at me in alarm. “I thought you were afraid of marriage.”

  I shook my head quickly. “No, I just don’t want to be pressured into it too fast like I thought Dale was. I really do want my beautiful wife, a big house, and two kids someday.”

  Allie’s grin made my heart melt. “Cool. Some time down the road, I’ll pick up a new notebook just for that.” She paused. “Um, I know it sounds silly, but that’s how I make things happen properly.”

  “Good. Glad we’re on the same page,” I said, holding our hands between us. “I love you, Allie. I want to be with you. For us to be together.”

  Her smile lit up those pretty eyes. “I love you, too. Can I be an overbearing, pushy girlfriend and suggest you come to my place for dinner tonight?”

  “Yes.”

  EPILOGUE ONE

  * Allie *

  *** Eight Months Later ***

  “An eight-month anniversary isn’t a thing,” I laughed, as Kellan led me to his living room couch, where a large white and silver gift box sat on the coffee table. We sat in front of it, and I turned to give him a kiss on the cheek.

  “I can celebrate any anniversary I want,” he laughed.

  Pulling off the lid, there were several lumpy items wrapped in white and purple tissue paper. The first few small round ones were decorative washi tape, with purple and baby pink floral patterns.

  I realized that he was giving me journaling supplies, and stifled my giggle as I realized my manifesting project had come full circle, since my man was helping.

  The next two gifts were pens – one silver, one light purple. “You already have tons of black pens,” he said. “So, I figured you could use some fancy ones for special plotting and planning.”

  “It’s not plotting,” I tried to scowl through my laugh. “It’s manifesting intentions.”

  “Whatever. Keep going.”

  There were several little boxes of stickers, with flowers, hearts, and stars, all in soft pink and mauve. The large square tissue wrapped block at the bottom was obviously a book. Kellan slid away a bit so that he could push the larger box aside for me.

  Unwrapping the journal slowly, I gasped. It was exquisite. Light purple faux leather with rose gold trim, and a beautiful violet and rose gold braided elastic to hold it closed. Which was convenient, since the book was lumpy, somehow.

  “This is beautiful. Thank you so much.”

  “Open it,” Kellan said excitedly.

  Slipping off the elastic, I opened the cover. A printed page had been glued inside, with a beautiful rose gold script.

  Planning Our Wedding

  Beneath it, attached to the page with purple floral washi tape, was a ring with a deep purple stone.

  I nearly dropped the book, setting it down with shaking hands as I turned to see Kellan on his knees beside me. He took my hand, kissing the back of it gently.

  “If it’s too soon, we can wait as long as you like,” he said. “Or we can have an incredibly long engagement. Whatever you want. But I need to feel that I have you permanently, Allie. I love you more than anything in this world, and my only goal from now on is to make you happy. Will you marry me?”

  My throat closed up tightly as I fought back tears, unable to make a sound. Nodding emphatically, I lunged for him, ending up sitting beside him on the floor with our arms tangled around each other.

  He stroked my back gently, murmuring in my ear, “Is that a yes?”

  “Yes,” I managed to squeak. “I love you.”

  We’d known for months now that we were permanently together, but I didn’t mention it for fear of spooking him. When we’d started planning for me to move in with him next month, I thought that was a significant step. Knowing that we were entirely on the same page was another sign.

  The same page.

  Standing up, I walked to his bookshelf, where I’d already started to move in some of my books. Digging for the light mauve journal, I flipped to a page and held it out, pointing to a line.

  Kellan is going to propose within a year and a half. You’re going to say YES.

  “I scribbled that down a month after we’d been dating,” I said, tossing the book on the table as Kellan sat back on the couch, pulling me onto his lap.

  “I love that you were so sure of us right from the beginning.” Kellan said as he slipped the ring onto my finger.

  “It’s perfect,” I smiled.

  “You said you didn’t like big diamonds, but the jeweler showed me how those little baby diamonds around the sapphire made it pop,” he said with a shrug.

  “It’s beautiful. I didn’t know that sapphires could be purple. It's the perfect size of stone, too,” I said, holding out my hand. “Pretty, but not…”

  “Ostentatious?” Kellan grinned. “I had a long chat with a few other ladies who were in
the store who helped me.”

  Picturing my huge, tough man getting jewelry advice from random ladies made me laugh out loud. “You’re adorable,” I said, slipping my non-sparkling hand around the back of his neck to tangle in his hair. He was very sensitive there, and it always put him in a certain mood immediately. Although to be honest, he was always in the mood.

  “We’re picking a date soon, my gorgeous fiancée,” he said, as his lips skimmed across my forehead. “After we consummate our engagement.”

  “That’s not a thing.”