Love in the Darkness: A shy girl alpha male romance novel Page 4

  Feeling tiny and safe in his arms, I drifted off for a second, listening to his low, deep breaths.

  CHAPTER SIX

  * Liam *

  Listening to Kayla’s soft breathing as she fell asleep on me was one of the sweetest things I’d ever experienced. It meant that she trusted me, which touched my heart in a way that I couldn’t quite make sense of.

  Of course, it also meant this poor girl was exhausted. Maybe Gwen was right, and she needed a little more exercise and circulation. But not today.

  Even though she was sound asleep, her hand stretched across my chest, curling up to the side of my neck. A tremor of raw desire coursed through me, but I tried to be as still as possible so that she wouldn’t wake up.

  Reaching out carefully with my free hand, I turned my phone off so that it wouldn’t disturb her if Gwen called. Checking the time, I figured that an hour long nap wouldn’t disrupt her sleep schedule too much.

  Holding her gently as she slept, I was reminded once again that it had been far, far too long since I’d been with a woman. I didn’t have the time or energy to bother socializing much. I didn’t want to waste my time with someone who wasn’t spectacular. Dating average girls had become exhausting, and I’d rather be alone than irritated.

  The realization that Kayla seemed to be perfect for me in every way was both an incredible high, and a bone-crushing low.

  I knew that at some point, she was going to take a good look at me. The moment of truth, of watching the honest reaction in her eyes before she rearranged her expression politely, would be yet another disappointment.

  That wasn’t her fault. And it was still a few days from happening. At this moment, I could be her protector. I could be the person that she relied on, even though it obviously drove her crazy to accept help.

  Finally Kayla began to stir. At first, she nestled into my shoulder even closer. Her fingertips danced along the side of my neck as she released a soft sigh. Then her breath caught, and she stiffened for a second before slowly retracting her hand.

  “Good morning,” I said gently, smiling hard so that she could hear it. “That dizzy spell must have taken something out of you. You were asleep for half an hour.”

  “Oh… I’m sorry,” she said automatically, but I gave her a tiny squeeze.

  “Don’t be sorry, Kayla. You’re healing. You’re supposed to rest.”

  She sat up slowly, and I hated that she pulled away from me. “I’m sorry that I kidnapped your shoulder as a pillow,” she said, obviously embarrassed.

  I stroked her back gently. “Don’t you dare worry about it. If my big, heavy arms can pin you down when you need it, then that’s what they’re here for.”

  She flashed me a little smile.

  “Do you still want some tea?” I asked. “If you do, I insist on making it for you. As your keeper, I command you to stay on the couch for at least another hour.”

  Her jaw clenched and her lips tightened. “I wish you could see how hard I am glaring at you,” she said before bursting into laughter. “But no, I don’t need tea. Thank you. Maybe I should listen to an audiobook for a while so that you can get some work done.”

  “Whatever you like,” I said.

  She smiled at me again, and I pulled the coffee table back into position. She reached out carefully, grabbing her phone on the first try.

  “I have to say, you’re getting pretty good at this,” I said.

  “Everyone has to have goals,” she smirked.

  Reaching into the little drawer of the table, she pulled out her headphones. Then she stretched out on the far end of the couch as she seemed to fall into whatever she was listening to.

  I got up for a moment to grab my laptop, then settled at the other end, giving her foot a tap so that she knew I was parked.

  It was great that I was able to catch up on a few hours of work, but I was a bit distracted, glancing at Kayla every few minutes. She was unbelievably pretty, with a delicate face that made me think of a porcelain doll.

  I’d only seen one photo of her in the apartment, on the fridge. Kayla was with a tan blonde girl in a park. They were both turned away, looking at something and laughing. Kayla’s hair was over her right eye, so I couldn’t see how far out of alignment it had been. Her left eye was shadowed by her hand, so I could barely make it out.

  I didn’t mean to be nosy, of course, but any photo posted on someone’s fridge was probably fair game to be examined.

  After a while, Kayla took off her headphones. “How is your work going?” she asked.

  “I’m at a particularly boring part,” I said, “So I would appreciate any and all distractions if you don’t mind.”

  Her nose crinkled when she smiled at me.

  “What are you listening to?” I asked.

  “It’s a biography from one of Picasso’s longtime girlfriends. So it’s a mix of art history, and finding out what a crazy ass he was sometimes.”

  “I’ve read that he was pretty full of himself,” I said.

  She nodded.”Yeah. And he certainly put his career above his partner’s.”

  “That’s pretty lousy,” I said. “What did she do?”

  “She was a painter too.”

  “But he was the famous one, so he called all the shots?”

  “Yes, pretty much.”

  “Well then. He was an ass,” I agreed.

  She turned to me with a strange expression, and I wished for the millionth time that I could see her eyes. “So you think that a couple should share the energy and resources fifty-fifty?”

  “Absolutely. I mean, life is often crazy, and it might not work out perfectly every single day. But overall it should even out and be balanced. Like when Gwen did far more of the cooking and cleaning when I had exams, then I did the same for her when she was in school. We were roommates for a few years.”

  “Wow,” she said softly. “So you’re a real, modern man.”

  “I’m shrugging,” I said, making her smile. “If modern men want a clean home and good food, they should pitch in and do half of the work. Maybe Gwen has been a bit of a hard ass, but I’ve never looked at men and women as anything but equal.” I paused. “Except for the whole upper body strength thing. And the way women are infinitely better at multitasking and small details. Equal but different, you know what I mean.”

  Her soft little smile as she nodded made me need to hold her again, but I tried to put that out of my mind.

  The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. I hated the thought of leaving her alone, even though she assured me that she always had her phone nearby, and promised to call me if she needed anything.

  “I also have neighbors,” she said. “Mrs. Henderson is close by, and there’s a couple of college guys down the hall who seemed nice.”

  I was almost glad that she couldn’t see the obvious flash of jealousy that ran through me at the thought of strange men helping her. I had no right to feel so possessive, yet I couldn’t help it.

  “Sweet dreams,” I said, needing to hug her but settling for patting her on the shoulder.

  “Thanks, Liam,” she said as she closed and locked the door.

  As I made my way home, I realized once again that I was in deep emotional shit. Gwen was definitely going to find out that I was falling hard for her patient. Kayla might find out my feelings for her.

  Although she was comfortable being cozy with me, it still wasn’t clear what she was feeling. Damn, I wished I could see her eyes to try to see what she was thinking.

  I could barely sleep, tossing and turning. Eventually, I got up ridiculously early to hit the gym hard, trying to exhaust myself so that I’d settle down.

  As always, newcomers to the facility took one look and gave me a wide berth. Regulars gave me a nod and smile, but rarely chatted with me the way they did with the rest of the clientele.

  Some people enjoyed having personal space. I usually felt isolated. Excluded. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. We lived in a world that was sometimes pretty terrif
ying, and it was logical to shun someone who looked violent.

  My ritual was to smile warmly at everyone, and be extra polite when offering to spot someone, or holding a door open. Once people had seen me around a few times, they usually lightened up and stopped flashing little sideways glances in my direction as if they thought I was going to steal their purse.

  I took a quick shower, then went to a deli that was on the way to Kayla’s. I picked up fresh bread and cheese, then went to the smoothie place again.

  This time when I knocked on her door at quarter to ten, she unlocked it almost immediately. I couldn’t stop myself from grinning when I realized that she seemed excited to see me.

  “Good morning, little one,” I said. “Smoothie time.”

  “Thanks,” she smiled as I guided her to the couch and placed a cup in her hands.

  “I also got stuff for grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, and pasta salad for dinner.”

  She cocked her head, and I was nearly positive that she’d be raising an eyebrow at me if I could see it.

  I chuckled. “I’ll give you a big bowl and spoon, with a napkin under you. If any slippery bits fall, I’ll find them so you don’t step on something gross.”

  Kayla sipped her green juice, grinning. “Awesome. Thank you.”

  After we finished our liquid breakfast, I remembered it was time for another nurse’s duty.

  “So, we might as get this out of the way,” I said gently. “Did Gwen help you in the shower or bath?” Kayla blushed so prettily I was glad she couldn’t see how hard it was not to reach out to touch her.

  “I’m okay in the shower by myself,” she said in a small voice, obviously embarrassed. “Maybe if you could just check and make sure that nothing has fallen so I can’t trip.”

  “I don’t like the thought of you in there alone, in case you slip. I read up on this a little. If you’ve lost your sight for a long time, your balance becomes more steady. It’s only been a few days for you, so you might be a bit off.”

  Her lips quirked up in the cutest smile. “You looked into this?”

  “Yes. I’m going to keep you safe, no matter what. How about I run you a bath, and you promise to get in very carefully? Sitting people can’t fall down. And don’t lock the door. If you slip or get dizzy again, I’ll be there in half a second, and modesty be damned.”

  Her nose crinkled. “Okay.”

  A few minutes later I was standing beside her at the edge of the tub. Taking her hand, I placed it on the edge. “Sit first, then slide in. No falling allowed. You remember where your soap and everything is?”

  Kayla nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”

  I placed a big towel on the counter, setting her hand on it, and she nodded again. “Okay. Just holler if you need anything. I’m not a peeper, but if you need me, I’m coming in.”

  Her head tilted as she smiled. “It’s funny, but I really do trust you.”

  I gave her shoulder a pat, then shut the door behind me. I went to the kitchen to do the dishes so that she’d hear me puttering around, but I was listening carefully. It was torture imagining her slipping out of her robe and into the hot water. I’d give anything to wash her tender skin, to care for her completely. Just the thought of rinsing her hair for her nearly made me crazy.

  Hearing light splashing sounds echoing in the bathroom, I relaxed a bit. I’d never been so protective of a woman before. This surge of raw emotion whenever I was near her was almost unnerving. It was tearing me apart.

  She was obviously a nice girl who should be settling down with a proper guy she could bring home to her family someday. Not someone who looked like they’d been to prison. My tattoos could mostly be covered with long sleeves. So many people had ink on their hands and wrists these days that it could be overlooked. But my angry scar made me look like a criminal. Some sort of thug. There was no way a classy gal like this would want to be seen with me.

  I’d finished with the kitchen when I heard the tub draining. A few minutes later, she came out with her hair in a towel, wearing only her robe. It was open just enough at the top that I could see the swell of her right breast, taunting me. Dammit, I needed better self-control.

  “Everything okay?” I said, so she’d know I was across the room.

  “All good,” she smiled. “I’ll just get dressed then be out.”

  There wasn’t much to straighten in the living room, her condo was neat as a pin. When she came out, I said, “I’m here on the couch. Want to join me?”

  “Sure,” she said. She had a hairbrush and elastic tie in her hand. Once she was sitting down, she started to brush her hair, but I could see from the way she was sitting it looked awkward.

  My urge to take care of her was making me question where any lines should be drawn. But if I was her temporary caregiver, certainly something as innocent as brushing her hair would be helping. I almost wondered if I should text Gwen, but she would either tell me to stop being so stupid, or ask me why I was being so weird.

  “Kayla, may I help you? I used to braid Gwen’s hair now and then. She trained me to do a pretty good job.”

  Her soft smile almost unraveled me. “Sure, thank you,” she said gently. She reached out to hand me the brush and elastic, then turned around sideways so her back was to me.

  I wanted to wrap my arms around her stomach and pull her against me. I wanted to lean in and whisper sweet things in her ear. I wanted to tell her that everything about her was making me crazy, and that I genuinely felt like I was falling for her.

  But instead, I swept her hair down her back, then began brushing out the tangles starting at the bottom.

  After working completely through without tugging on her scalp once, she laughed. “You really are good at this.”

  I liked that she was letting me care for her more intimately. Though restraining my instincts was becoming increasingly difficult.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  * Kayla *

  It was fascinating that Liam seemed amused when I referred to his tough guy status, but didn’t think twice about brushing my hair. It was sweet. The gentle, confident way he dealt with me was refreshing.

  A few guys had hit on me awkwardly, and were either nervous to the point of being disturbing, or so overconfident they behaved like jackasses.

  I’d only gone out with two guys before. One of them was just a single sad, short date. I’d never clicked with anyone. I’d never felt comfortable enough to be myself when I always felt like people were staring at my weird eye. But I was pretty relaxed with Liam. I wondered how relaxed I might be if I were able to see.

  The curiosity about what he looked like was absolutely killing me. From what I could pick up, he was tall and brawny, obviously ridiculously muscular. He was so kind, and so quick to make me laugh that I found myself not really caring what he looked like.

  Once my hair was completely brushed out, I heard the clack as the brush was set on the coffee table. He ran his fingers through my hair, making me need to restrain a shudder. He divided it into sections, skimming his fingertips along my scalp. It felt so nice, and I felt strangely pampered. Twisting the hair as he picked up more along the way, he quickly created a loose French braid down my back and tied it with the elastic.

  Then his fingers lightly brushed the underside of my hairline, as if freeing any hair that had been captured too tightly. But it also felt like he didn’t want to stop touching me. I felt my body leaning back toward him, then his hands fell to my shoulders.

  “There you go,” he said. “That should keep it out of your way.”

  “Thank you,” I said, turning to him and pulling the braid over my shoulder. “This feels really tidy.”

  He reached out to give the end a playful tug. “I keep forgetting that you can’t see when I’m smiling at you,” he said.

  I nodded. “It’s really weird to feel my face making expressions, but knowing that they might be read differently because you can’t see my eyes.”

  “It’s only for a few more days,” h
e said. “So far, I think you’re doing pretty well. You haven’t gone crazy, or started throwing things. You haven’t been demanding special exotic foods just because you’re bored.”

  I laughed loudly. “Trust me, I’m getting a little squirrely on the inside.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help? Or do you want to talk about it?”

  I shook my head hard. “I can’t… I don’t think I should talk about how this feels. So, um, I’m going to stick to the basic things that are annoying me. Like not being able to walk around without putting my arms out like a zombie.”

  Liam laughed. “Yeah, that must be annoying. Do you miss walking? Do you walk a lot?”

  “Yes. I’m always in front of a computer, so I try to walk outside for at least half an hour to an hour a day. Sometimes I dictate notes into my phone as I go, but often I try to completely unplug and stare at flowers. Window displays. Whatever.”

  “You’ll be able to do that again soon,” he said sweetly. “If your eyes are still a bit sensitive to the light, you’ll have to go in the evening instead of noon.”

  “I usually go walking at night,” I said. “Around eight or nine is a good time.”

  He was quiet for a moment. “You stay in well-lit areas with lots of people around, don’t you?”

  I couldn’t stop my grin. “Why do you ask?”

  He picked up my hand and gave it a little shake. “You can’t blame me for going into overprotective mode when I think of a lovely young girl walking around alone at night. You know there are creeps in this world.”

  I cocked my head, grinning. “I know. I stay on the main streets, with tons of streetlights. I figure anywhere there are people with strollers, or little old ladies with shopping carts, it’s probably a good area.”

  He chuckled, releasing my hand suddenly as if he hadn’t realized still been holding it. “Good. I knew you were a smart girl.” Liam paused. “From the looks of your bookshelves, you’re a very smart girl. You must miss reading.”