Love in the Darkness: A shy girl alpha male romance novel Read online

  “Absolutely,” I said. “I mean, obviously I took her hand to guide her, but she seemed fine with my touching her. Actually, it almost seemed to relax her a bit having a big tough guy around.”

  “Hmm,” Gwen murmured. “You know, the more I think about it, you two could be good together. Maybe. If you are a good boy, perhaps I will allow you to phone her in six months, after she is totally healed.”

  “That’s mighty gracious of you,” I grumbled. “Anyway, any advice for tomorrow?”

  “Yes – it’s hard to tell since you don’t know her, but if she’s in pain, she should take the painkillers. Those ones are not addictive or anything. So if she says she doesn’t need them, but then acts like she’s in pain, or even just tense, ask again.”

  “Got it.”

  “She is supposed to be taking it absolutely easy, but you could mention that a few stretches, or walking a few laps around the apartment would be good. Keep her circulation going whenever she looks like she feels up to it.”

  “Okay. Anything else?”

  “Feed her. Water her. Entertain her. It’s all good. Call me if you need anything.”

  “All right.”

  “Liam – I really appreciate this. You’re not just saving my ass, you’re helping a very nice girl through a pretty terrifying time.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I said softly. “It seems like she’s trying really hard to be brave though.”

  “She is,” Gwen agreed. “But if she gets moody, or needs some alone time, or needs to cry or scream, it’s not personal. You’re going to have to roll with it.”

  “I could see that. Thanks, Sis.”

  Before I went to bed, I tried to think of everything I could possibly do tomorrow to help Kayla heal. I didn’t know much about these sorts of things, but after an hour of online searching, I felt like I had at least a tiny clue. I knew a bit about health and fitness from the years I’ve spent at various gyms, and due to my lifelong habit of reading so much.

  I felt driven to help Kayla in every possible way. This was obviously a tricky point in her life, so if I could make things go more smoothly, I would.

  There was a voice in the back of my head that I tried to silence. It pointed out that I was also trying to get her to truly like me, hoping that it would soften the blow when she eventually saw me.

  There must be ways to care for her while keeping my hands off her. Even though she had clearly snuggled into me, that shouldn’t happen again. I could bench press weights that made everyone in the gym stare open-mouthed, but that didn’t mean I was strong enough to keep my distance from this precious, sweet girl.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  * Kayla *

  Waiting for a man to come to my apartment was strange. This was not something I had ever done before.

  Thinking about what kind of a man I would want for a partner someday was a rare occurrence, but it did happen. I needed someone sweet and sensitive, who would really listen and understand me. I needed someone who could pick up hints when I wasn’t being clear. Sometimes I was too shy to speak up for myself.

  On the other hand, part of me craved that strong man vibe. Although I had problems with anyone taking care of me, I couldn’t help that it was a twisted fantasy to have someone be a bit overprotective. The thought of being cared for by a big guy was seductive.

  The concept of someone else caring for me had always been repulsive. I didn’t know why it was completely different with Liam. Maybe he had some sort of deep nurturing energy that I was picking up. Having him take care of me felt natural.

  The reaction I had when Liam put his arms around me was tricky to figure out. I knew that he was just trying to help, and make me feel comfortable. Having those thick, muscular arms around me, holding me so tightly against his chest… Just thinking about it still made my lower belly flutter.

  If Gwen had been coming over, I wouldn’t have worried about what I looked like. It was very hard for me to do too much anyway. Knowing that it would be Liam changed everything.

  I could tell from the texture of my long-sleeved t-shirts that the slightly thicker fabric was the dark purple one that looked nice on me. I had no idea if my socks matched, but I tried to brush my hair, tying it back in what was probably a rather messy ponytail. It was weird that I instinctively wanted to put on lip gloss, but knew I would make a mess of it.

  It certainly didn’t make any difference what I looked like. He would never be interested in a quiet, odd girl like me. But I felt that making the attempt was somehow polite.

  It was difficult not to ask my phone what time it was every few minutes. At a quarter to ten, I heard a soft knock at the door.

  “Hi, Kayla? It’s Liam.”

  Carefully walking across the living room, I called out, “Coming.” I unlocked the door, stepping back with what I hoped was a warm smile directed in my estimation of where his face might be.

  “Good morning, little one,” he said, and I could hear the bright grin in his voice.

  He came in and locked the door behind him, then took me by the elbow to lead me back to the sofa. He fussed around with some bags on the coffee table, then took my hand, placing a large cup in it.

  “Fresh fruit smoothie,” he explained. “You said you weren’t big on breakfast, but you’re healing, so you should have as many vitamins as you can handle.”

  “Thank you,” I said, taking a tiny sip. It was so weird having the bandages dull my expressions, because my eyes would have gone wide from the amazing flavor.

  “Wow, what is this? Papaya and… Pear?”

  “And blueberries and protein powder, and some immune-boosting vitamin potion,” he chuckled, sitting on the couch beside me.

  “I could get used to breakfast if it was this,” I said.

  “Did you sleep okay?” he asked gently.

  I shrugged. “Well enough. It’s pretty weird having absolutely zero visual stimulation.”

  I may have heard him chuckle again. “Is it true that your hearing starts working overtime?”

  I couldn’t tell him that my sense of touch was ridiculously sensitive. “A little bit. It’s sharper. But Gwen explained that it wasn’t actually more powerful, it’s that I’m focused on it since I have no sight.”

  His heavy hand patted my knee gently. I couldn’t help feeling a twinge of happiness that he was becoming more relaxed about touching me.

  “Just a few more days,” he said.

  After my morning tea and smoothie, I stood up carefully, smiling as Liam immediately took my hand.

  “Can I help you?” he asked quickly.

  “Washroom,” I said. “I’m slow, but fine.”

  “Okay.”

  I noticed that he was getting quicker with responding verbally instead of automatically nodding.

  Part of me felt sort of guilty that this nice man was having to learn and change so much for me. But another part was touched that he was trying so hard.

  When I finished in the washroom, I came back to the living room by trailing my fingers along the wall on my left. Gwen and I had placed a piece of tape at the point where I was to turn right to slowly walk to the couch.

  I could hear Liam laughing. “So that’s what the painter’s tape was for. I thought this was a weird time for you to be redecorating.”

  Feeling my way to the couch, I sat beside him, grinning. “Gwen taught me a lot of little tricks, actually. Like counting how many steps it is from here to there, but never relying on it a hundred percent. And basic things like memorizing the button pad on the microwave.”

  “Yeah, I saw that you weren’t using the kettle.”

  I shrugged. “She taught me how, but that’s one thing I don’t feel safe about. Microwave tea doesn’t quite feel right, but it’s just one week.”

  “I’ll make you tea anytime you like,” he said quickly.

  I turned more toward him, smiling. “Thanks, but I have so little to do. I think I’ll make myself another cup to feel like I’m being productive.”

&nb
sp; His low, deep chuckle sounded incredibly sexy. “I could see that. Well, I’m right here if you need a hand.”

  “Thanks,” I said, turning toward the kitchen and getting up.

  Walking from the end of the couch to the kitchen was the largest open space. I felt the corner of the coffee table to help me picture the angle from there to the doorway before I started walking. It was only seven steps when I could see, but as Gwen had trained me blindfolded. Now it was ten smaller steps since I was much more cautious.

  Five steps in, my feet froze in place. Instantly everything was far too hot. Breathing was tight. Skin prickling. Everything fuzzy. Then tilted.

  Gwen had warned me about dizzy spells, and had me practice taking a knee immediately. I did, dropping to the floor with my hands out in front of me so that I couldn’t fall on my face.

  “Christ,” I heard Liam exclaim. He was beside me in a blink. His large, warm hand was in the center of my back. “Just breathe. I’ve got you.”

  “Dizzy,” I mumbled, holding onto the floor for dear life.

  “Lie down,” he ordered, and somehow the feeling of him taking over made me feel a little better. He helped me to lie gently on my back, and placed my palms on the floor.

  “Breathe all the way in, and all the way out,” he said calmly. “Feel your lungs being full, and being empty. Gentle as an ocean wave.”

  He knelt behind me, and cupped the back of my head in his large palms. “Think about the soles of your feet stretching away from you, and the top of your head floating toward me. Give your entire body a little wiggle, and think about being an inch taller than you thought you were.”

  The dizziness was already passing a bit, as I shifted my shoulders and legs. Visualizing that my body was longer somehow shook the strange overheated tingly feeling out of me.

  He set my head carefully back on the floor. “I’ll be back in one second,” he said.

  I heard him dart to the kitchen, rummaging through my cupboards and drawers. Then he placed his palm on my forehead. “Take a whiff of this.”

  Cautiously sniffing the air, I grinned. “Peppermint?”

  His chuckle was becoming more adorable every time. “Yeah, it’s supposed to be good for nausea. Apparently, a good thing for dizzy spells is to engage all of the senses, and ground yourself.”

  I breathed in the fresh, cooling fragrance again. “Now I’m craving peppermint ice cream,” I giggled. “But it really is helping. Thank you.”

  I could hear the crinkle of the paper towel in his left hand as he stroked my forehead with the right. Having a huge man hovering over me like this would have freaked me out in any other circumstance. But feeling cared for and safe right now while my body was suddenly weak was a blissful comfort.

  I took another slow breath as he waved the peppermint near my face. “It smells so blue,” I said.

  “Great,” Liam said, and I could hear his smile. “With your senses all messed up, are you going to become one of those people that see music and hear numbers?”

  “Synesthesia,” I said automatically. “Probably not. I likely just miss seeing the color blue.”

  “Is that your favorite color?” he asked softly.

  “All of the blues and teals and purples are my favorites,” I said. “I can’t pick just one. It’s the entire range.” His palm was stroking my entire head now, his fingers trailing through my hair. “What’s your favorite color?”

  He paused. “You know the shade of a roasted sweet potato? Sort of a smoky deep orange?”

  I couldn’t help laughing. “Well, that’s a weird one.”

  He laughed with me. “I know. But it makes me think of fireplaces and pumpkin pie and everything in the fall.”

  Without thinking, I reached out to him, clutching his forearm. “That’s very poetic for a tough guy.”

  “What makes you think I’m a tough guy?”

  Reaching farther, I placed my hand on his chest, patting all the way to the left and the right. Then across his shoulders. “Oh, I don’t know. I suppose anybody with a body like this could be a poet. Sure, why not.”

  He took my hand, kissing the back of it again before placing it on the floor. “Well, you don’t know me very well yet. There’s no reason I couldn’t be a part-time seamstress.”

  “Professional knitter,” I said with a grin. “That must be what bulked up your arms.”

  “A professional spins their own yarn, you know,” he said in a hilariously haughty voice. “All of that spinning, and knitting intricate sweaters every day, it wears a man out.”

  “You poor thing,” I laughed.

  “How are you feeling, little one?” he asked gently.

  “Much better, thank you.”

  Liam waved the peppermint in front of my face again, then set it aside. “How do you feel about taking a few more slow, deep breaths, then I’ll lay you down on the couch?”

  I nodded, filling my lungs and emptying them completely several times. I began to sit up, but Liam slid his arms under me, carefully scooping me up without wobbling my head. He carried me to the couch and laid me down, tucking a pillow under me.

  I felt him push the coffee table out of the way so that he could kneel beside me.

  “I’ll put that back in the exact same spot,” he assured me.

  “Thanks.”

  I tried to stay still, but my muscles felt all twitchy and strange. My body kept moving slightly, unable to get comfortable, and my heart began to speed up again.

  “What is it?” Liam asked. It was sweet how concerned he sounded.

  “I’m okay. It’s just… Everything feels off-kilter. Like my bones are jittery. It’ll go away, I’m sure.”

  His hand stroked my arm gently. “Just breathe. Logically, you know you’re fine and safe, right?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Maybe my body is just rebelling from being locked in the dark.”

  “Gwen said that there could be all sorts of weird side effects. She said that it takes quite a while to feel grounded again after losing one of your senses.”

  I sighed heavily. “Let’s hope I don’t need to get used to this.” His touch was so comforting. “It’s hard to feel grounded when you’re sort of floating around,” I said, trying to sound amusing. “Maybe I should try one of those weighted blankets so that I feel like I’m being held down.”

  His hand pressed down on my arm. “Like this?”

  Laughter bubbled out of me. “Precisely.” I paused. “Wow. Pressure really does help.”

  Liam got up, lifting me as he sat on the couch. My body sunk into the crook of his shoulder as he wrapped his arms tightly around me, pinning me.

  “Is this okay?” he asked carefully. “I don’t mean to get too cozy, it just seems like…”

  “Actually, yeah. This is nice if you’re comfortable with it,” I said, resting my head on him. “You’re warm, and your big arms are heavy. In a good way.”

  I loved the deep, gravelly sound of his chuckle. “Good.”

  He was likely just trying to help me, and it certainly was. There was something so sweet about the way he held me. I’m sure it meant far more to me than it did to him. At the moment, I felt like I was allowed to be selfish, and take every bit of comfort I could get.

  We stayed still, just relaxing together for several minutes before he spoke. “Do you mind if I ask what sort of surgery you had?”

  “Strabismus.” His silence made me laugh. “Lazy eye. My right eye pulls to the right, and it was getting worse. They operated three years ago, adjusting the eye muscles so that it would be straight.”

  “Why did you have to do it again?”

  “Because my left eye also pulls very slightly to the right. They corrected one eye, and not the other, and since they didn’t line up, the weaker eye pulled out of alignment again. The doctor decided that fixing them both at the same time should put them straight, and they should theoretically stay put for a long time.”

  “Why are they extra light-sensitive then?”

&n
bsp; “When there is a very different focus between the two eyes, they become a little more light-sensitive, even with normal people. But mine are so different, and I’ve had so many issues, that they’re now both a bit wonky. They’re not sure why I’m so extra sensitive.”

  “So that’s why you have to keep them bandaged for a week?”

  “Yes – the doctor doesn’t want me to start looking around if one eye heals faster than the other. He said I have to rest them completely for five extra days to be sure.” I laughed. “He knew that the healing process was going to drive me nuts. He actually made me swear on my favorite book that I wouldn’t take the bandages off early, or even peek.”

  His rumbling chuckle made me grin. “What book was it?”

  “The Lorax.”

  I felt his thick arm give me a squeeze. “I loved that one,” he said. It sounded like he was a million miles away. “So,” he began slowly, “They don’t know for sure if your eyes will stay in place this time?”

  I started to shake my head, then stopped. “No. Weirdly, it’s a pretty safe surgery, but many people need to have it done a few times.”

  His fingers twirled a few fallen strands of my hair over my shoulder. I sighed, feeling my body sinking into his even more as I relaxed completely. “I’m going to have to do eye exercises and vision therapy for quite a while, apparently.”

  The feeling of his hand stroking my shoulder was so comforting. “I don’t like that you might have to go through this again,” he said gently.

  “Me neither.”

  “It’s absolutely none of my business,” he nearly whispered, “But I also don’t like that you don’t have family or friends nearby to check on you. I don’t like that you’re alone.”

  Feeling my jaw clench, I tried to quiet my automatic response. “Except for this week, I’m fine,” I said as calmly as possible. “I’m totally self-sufficient.”

  “Everyone needs people,” he breathed next to my ear. “Kayla, it’s okay to let people in.”

  I nodded, feeling my flash of stress already melting away. My hand reached out to stroke his chest, knowing that I shouldn’t. I heard his breath catch softly as if he liked it.