Packing Up Love Read online

  “My beautiful Claire,” he moaned, “Let me hear you.”

  My last gasp was nearly a squeal as I choked out his name with a passion I’d never felt before, then I felt him peaking, pouring himself inside me with a low growl, clutching me to him as we rocked together, staring into each other’s eyes.

  “Claire,” his husky voice strained, “My sweet baby.”

  Oh my god, hearing him call me his did something strange to me. I wanted to give myself to him completely, ask him to take me every night forever. Just for a moment, I had to allow these delicious thoughts to swirl in my mind.

  He kissed my lips, my cheekbones, my forehead, then flashed that grin that knocked the wind out of me. “You’re amazing,” he said gently. Slowly rolling beside me, I snuggled against his chest. He pulled my comforter over us, and I was surprised to realize that he seemed to be staying.

  I was just drifting off as I felt his lips press against my hair. “I’m so glad I finally found you, honey,” he breathed. “You’re perfect for me.”

  I was afraid to speak. I loved how he took control of every situation, making everything better. It was just all too much too soon, and I was left with skittish dreams while breathing against his skin, his arms around me all night.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  * Jason *

  Waking up with my beauty in my arms, I was completely happy and satisfied for a moment. Then I remembered, and felt a sick twisting in my guts. I knew she might break my heart in two. And I deserved it. I cannot believe I lied to her. Or at least, didn’t tell the truth that I had zero intention of this being a one-night situation.

  I was a dishonorable, filthy jerk. But I’d already fallen for her so hard, so fast, that I was lost.

  The level of shame at having been dishonest to the woman I’d already fallen for completely was tempered by the feeling of her soft skin against mine. Her body was wound around mine, holding me tight. She’d have to forgive me, once she saw that we were meant to be. Now I just had to convince her that we were so much more than a one-night stand to reset her life.

  I knew that she needed some time and space to shake off her previous relationship, but if I gave her that space, she might fall for someone else. It would be so easy to picture her with a refined corporate type who could give her the world. I’d be able to provide for her and care for her in a few years when I was done with school, but until then, I didn’t have a lot to offer other than my absolute devotion.

  Feeling Claire stirring in my arms actually frightened me. She was going to kick me out, and go on with her life. I could feel it. Or maybe I was just paranoid, since my heart felt so wide open right now.

  Giving her a little kiss on the forehead, I rolled her gently, tucking the blanket around her. Grabbing my clothes, I went to get dressed in the living room so that I wouldn’t disturb her.

  I had just started to look around for a pen and paper when I heard her at the bedroom door. “Are you leaving?”

  “I’m sorry if I woke you. I have to work for a few hours today. I was looking for a pen to leave you a note.”

  “Give me your phone,” she said. Handing it to her, she entered herself as a contact.

  “Can I call you?” I asked.

  She nodded, flashing the cutest little smile. Her hair was slightly messed up, and she looked so sleepy and delicate I wanted to drag her back into bed immediately.

  Pulling her into my arms, I kissed her. But this time I wasn’t gentle. Since there was a chance this might be my last moment with her, I kissed her with the fire that had been burning in my gut from the second I laid eyes on her. As my fingers dug into her curvy ass, holding her luscious breasts tightly to my chest, I poured every ounce of raw lust into her lips. If a kiss could talk, I was screaming, “You. Are. Mine.”

  When I finally released her, she was flushed, breathless, and maybe slightly confused.

  “I’m about to make some requests that I have absolutely no right to,” I said gently, stroking her hair. “You keep this door locked at all times. Keep your eyes open when you’re out walking, and look around. If you see your ex anywhere, you run into a store and get help immediately, while you’re calling me. Do you understand?”

  She nodded, smiling sweetly. “I’m sure there won’t be any problem. But it’s really nice of you to look out for me.”

  “I’m a phone call away,” I said, kissing her forehead. Then I forced myself to leave immediately before I said anything else crazy.

  I wanted to escort her to work. I wanted to ask what the security was like there. She didn’t seem concerned about that weaselly jackass Kyle, but I knew men better than she did.

  It was one thing to see that your girlfriend was leaving you and moving out on the fly. But to be thrown into a wall by a tough dude twice his size must have been completely emasculating. Which of course, I was quite happy about. But it might make him mean, and stupid enough to try to contact Claire again.

  There was no way I could let that happen.

  I ignored Steve’s raised eyebrow when I showed up to work in the same clothes I had on yesterday. I ignored the obvious flirtations of the two university girls we were moving from an elegant townhouse to a stylish condo, obviously owned by somebody’s daddy.

  I attempted to ignore Claire’s number in my phone. I wanted so badly to send her a message, but couldn’t let myself until I knew what I wanted to say. And it had to be something that wouldn’t scare her off.

  Finally when I was on my way home, I passed a sign that would give me the perfect excuse to text her.

  Hey Claire – this is Jason. Just drove past Davison’s furniture over on St. Clair West, and they’re having a huge furniture sale, in case you need anything else to finish off your new place. I can always borrow the truck if you need a hand. I hope you’re having a great day.

  Desperately hoping that was perfect, I hit send. I wanted to show her that I was thinking about her, but also being casual and practical.

  I wanted to be the man that made all of her problems go away. I wanted to be the one she would turn to. Her shelter in any storm. I just had to stay close to her until she came around and realized that I was already her guy.

  I was absolutely thrilled that she responded.

  Thanks, Jason. I appreciate it. I might need a few things next weekend. You’ll likely be working, but if it’s anything super heavy, I might give you a shout.

  Dammit. She really had it ingrained that she couldn’t let herself bother me. That bastard must have really done a number on her. Twisted her mind. A sweet girl like Claire should be showered with attention, and made to feel like a princess, never a nuisance.

  It killed me how he had spoken to her. Her lush, womanly curves were anything but chunky. And calling a lady a whore? Never. Not even if she were actually a sex worker just trying to pay her bills.

  Maybe I was old-fashioned, but I had always put women on a bit of a pedestal. I couldn’t help it. I knew that women were strong, resilient, and powerful. But a lot of them were also half our size and soft-spoken. Sensitive. Equal but different, is what my mother always said.

  I honestly thought that men who didn’t feel the urge to be a little kinder, and extra polite to women were lazy, selfish, or both. We’re used to being friendly jerks to other guys, and maybe women who are our sisters or buddies. Maybe I’m just glad that my brawn draws women in until they realize I’m a nice guy as well. Or at least, it’s worked for the few short term girlfriends I’d had.

  Wasting people’s time if I’m not sure about someone just isn’t my style. I had to hope that wasn’t what Claire was getting at, and that she was just nervous during this time of stress. Moving was hard on people. I needed to do everything in my power to make things easier on her without frightening her away.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  * Claire *

  Puttering around at work, I felt like my cheeks were strained from smiling so much. My coworkers thought that I was happy to be away from Kyle, but I couldn’t stop thi
nking about Jason. I was absolutely astounded by how I felt about him, which was both scaring me to pieces, and lighting me up inside.

  I felt terrible that I couldn’t bring myself to consider a relationship yet. It just wasn’t right. I wasn’t ready. Yet I wanted to be ready to let Jason into my life properly. I wanted to have him as my boyfriend, and introduce him to my friends, and spend more nights together than apart. But I’d wanted all of that before and it turned out to be a prison. I had been under Kyle’s control, and it was always easier to give in to what he wanted rather than speak up for myself.

  I couldn’t go through that again.

  For a blissful few minutes, I let myself wonder what having Jason as a boyfriend would really be like. In a fit of probable insanity, I looked him up online on my break. It actually took me a moment to remember his last name, because I only saw it once on the moving company paperwork.

  This particular Jason Carter from Toronto obviously wasn’t online a lot, but there were a few photos of him with a girl almost two years ago. A tall blonde named Lindsay, who was clutching his arm for dear life, grinning for the photo as if she had just won a prize.

  But there wasn’t a lot past that, although he was in university, studying philosophy and law. I was impressed. I knew he was clever, but he was obviously a lot more than that.

  Forcing myself to get back to work, I realized I had actually been using a few of the packing tricks that Jason had taught me. My instinct was to call him and thank him, but I needed to make sure he didn’t think of it as a relationship sort of call. Hopefully, I could text him in a few months, and we could have dinner or something, without me overthinking things to bits.

  Tammy came running into the back room where I was working, her eyes wide.

  “Claire, did you order some shelves? Delivered by the hottest guy I’ve ever seen?”

  “You have got to be kidding,” I muttered. I had barely turned around when Jason walked into the room.

  “Don’t freak out,” he said immediately. “We were cleaning out another store, and they were getting rid of a bunch of shelving. You said that you needed some. So if you want…” He looked around, squinting for a second as he did some quick visual measurements. “We can put shelves across this corner, and across this wall.”

  “Do you mean right now?”

  “Yes. Steve can help me bring the stuff in, then he can run the truck back and I’ll stay here to set them up.”

  “That’s amazing,” Tammy said. “Rita will flip when she sees it tomorrow.”

  “Okay, thanks,” I said automatically.

  Then Jason flashed me the sweetest, sexiest grin I’d ever seen, reaching out to squeeze my hand. “Always here to help, honey.”

  He took off out the front door, as Tammy helped me push the table, and the orders we were working on out of the way. “How come you didn’t tell me you had a new boyfriend already,” she hissed.

  “I don’t, he’s… I don’t even know right now,” I said, quickly running the broom around before the guys brought in a huge pile of planks and metal strips, along with a few tools.

  Steve nodded hello on the way by, and all of the supplies were strewn across the floor in minutes.

  “Just ignore me, I’ll stay out of your way,” Jason said brightly, getting straight to work.

  Tammy shrugged and went back to the front of the store, while I tried to finish up the last of the day’s orders as quickly as I could. In about half an hour, Tammy left, leaving me to finish and lock up after Jason was done.

  He was an incredible worker – so confident and thorough. I couldn’t believe how quickly he fastened the shelves to the wall so they couldn’t tip over. Then he even helped arrange a bunch of supplies, half filling the shelves and creating a huge amount of space in our workroom.

  “You’re amazing,” I laughed. “Thank you so much.”

  “Always happy to help,” he said, pulling me into his arms. “We saved these shelves from the landfill, so this is very environmentally responsible of us.” He gave me a tiny kiss on the forehead, then released me. “May I walk you home?”

  I nodded, grabbing my coat and purse and locking up in a flash.

  It was so natural to lace my fingers through his as we walked. It was so perfect chatting about our favorite spots in Toronto, the best bookstores, and rumors of a secret speakeasy lounge where you walk through a restaurant kitchen to enter.

  When we paused at a street corner, I couldn’t even think as his big hands pulled me against him. I wanted him so badly. Yet I was so scared to jump into another relationship, and I’d already told him that. He really was pushy, and that terrified me. I was always the girl who did as she was told.

  How could I grow and figure out who I was if I’d never been alone? If I had no space?

  But then he kissed me and my body firmly kicked my brain out the door while I melted into Jason’s thick arms.

  CHAPTER SIX

  * Jason *

  Her body against mine was perfection. Her soft curves belonged in my hands as I cupped her ass, drawing her close. It was nearly uncomfortable how much I needed her. Then I glanced down and saw doubt in her eyes.

  “What is it, baby?”

  “That,” she choked. She placed a hand on my chest as if she needed to keep us apart for a moment.

  Instantly I raised my hands. “I’m sorry. What do you mean?”

  “You calling me baby. And honey. I...” She looked like she was in anguish. “It’s too fast, and I just...” She was trembling, and I needed to hold her, but I had to give her space.

  She couldn’t meet my eyes. “I know you must be a player. You’re the kind of guy that could easily get any woman he wants to do anything he wants. I don’t know why you’re behaving like we’re a couple already. Do you treat all of your flings like this?”

  “Claire, you know you’re not a fling. You’re the girl I’ve been hoping to find someday.”

  “But... You said that it was okay that we just had one night. I mean, I was sort of hoping for a little more, but I can’t be in a relationship right now.”

  “You’re scared. I understand.”

  “I also...” She paused, looking completely frustrated. “I don’t want to be your damsel in distress. Your little plaything for a few weeks until you find a shinier toy. What we had was one amazing night, and now, we’re just...”

  “Claire, you’re right. I wasn’t honest at the beginning. I knew as soon as I kissed you that my heart would be yours. But I couldn’t walk away and let there be a possibility that you’d find someone else.”

  She looked at me very strangely, a thousand questions in her eyes.

  “Let me walk you to your door at least,” I said.

  “Okay,” she said with a small nod.

  “You know,” I said casually as we started up the street. “Apparently conversations held side by side can be helpful, since you’re aligned in the same direction.” She looked up at me with a tentative smile. “We both just want the same thing. For you to be happy. That’s not so crazy, right?”

  “But what about you?” she asked. “You should be happy as well. And I’m pretty sure that would involve you with a girl who has her life together, and doesn’t need babysitting all the time.”

  I shrugged, forcing myself to resist taking her hand. “I like helping. I like feeling useful. I’m a big strong guy, and it feels good to help anyone who needs it.” We turned the corner, and she seemed to be relaxing. “For the record, Claire, I help men too. Just last week I helped my neighbors carry a piano into their house.”

  Her bright eyes smiled up at me. “How many guys does it take to carry a piano, anyway?”

  “In this case, four and a half”

  “How do you have half a guy?”

  “Peter is really huge,” I chuckled. “Way bigger than me.”

  She laughed brightly, and I was relieved that she seemed much more at ease.

  When we got to her building, I instinctively looked around
carefully to make sure we weren’t being followed, but she noticed. “I think you’ve scared Kyle off for good,” she said.

  “Still, I’d appreciate it if you’d be extra careful for the next few months.”

  “You know you’re a little bit pushy.”

  I walked her to the door of her building, then held her hands in mine. “I know. But I can’t help but be a bit overprotective of this gorgeous creature that I have intense feelings for. So, I know you need some space, but can you help me out on the safety bit? Just tell me you’ll be cautious.”

  Claire nodded, holding my hands tightly.

  “See, I’m not even asking to come in,” I grinned. “Look at me, learning to be less pushy.”

  This time she really laughed, her head falling back as she put her arms around my neck. “Thank you so much for the shelves,” she said softly.

  I tried to kiss her gently. I tried to give her just a charming goodnight peck. But the indescribable pull toward her had me slipping my hands under her coat, under her shirt to grip her lower back, pulling her body flat against mine. Claire’s soft moan into my lips unraveled me completely. The instant heat that flared between us was almost too much to fight, and it nearly killed me not to drag her to her bedroom immediately.

  Finally I forced myself to push her away slightly, but couldn’t resist whispering in her ear, “Let me know when you’re ready to let me in.”

  She looked up at me, biting her lip, then shaking her head. I watched as she hurried into her building. I couldn’t do anything but let her go.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  * Claire *

  It felt like I was being torn in two. I couldn’t even look at him as I got into the elevator and went to my new apartment. The home that he helped me put together. It was like he was already part of my life. And I wanted him, I really did. But I was just so terrified about everything right now that I didn’t trust myself to make good decisions.